Fandango def. Dolph Ziggler (Kickoff Match)
HOUSTON – In the first one-on-one matchup between two of WWE’s most confident Superstars, the fleet-footed Fandango
used a timely distraction from Summer Rae to pick up an impressive victory over Dolph Ziggler in the WWE TLC Kickoff Match.
In front of the WWE Universe at a packed Toyota Center – and watching live around the world on WWE.com, the WWE App,
YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo!, Google+, Samsung Smart TVs, Xbox, Sony PS3, Pinterest and Pheed – Fandango,
accompanied by the stunning Summer Rae, had some choice words for the WWE fans in attendance and the famed Texas Line
Dance before the bell rung and the two Superstars tore into each other.
WWE’s ballroom dancing aficionado took the early advantage, withstanding a high-impact dropkick from The Showoff to keep
the pressure on. Tossing the two-time World Heavyweight Champion over the top rope, Fandango and his show stealing
opponent began trading offensive maneuvers and pin attempts. Ziggler used Billy Gunn’s renowned Famouser to come with
nanoseconds of the victory.
Fandango, however, endured everything Ziggler threw at him, moving like Gene Kelly and grappling like Gene LeBell.
When the back-and-forth fight went to the top rope, a well-timed distraction from Summer Rae gave her leading man the
window he needed, as Fandango hit Ziggler with a crushing leg drop for the win.
While it was an impressive showing in defeat, Ziggler heads back to the drawing board. The graceful Fandango and his
beautiful dance partner, meanwhile, pick up a huge win in the Kickoff Match of WWE’s final pay-per-view of the year and
look primed for big things in 2014.
CM Punk def. The Shield (3-on-1 Handicap Match)
HOUSTON — Ahead of his 3-on-1 Handicap Match against United States Champion Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins,
CM Punk seemed almost resigned to his fate. Fully expecting to walk into a “wholesale slaughter,” The Best in the World
sounded all but accepting of defeat so long as he took down at least some members of The Shield in the process.
Instead, armed with strategy, patience and wherewithal, Punk exceeded even his own predictions and earned a hard-fought
victory at WWE TLC. Perhaps more significantly, the lopsided match may have further contributed to an emerging crack in
The Shield, leaving the cohesiveness of one of WWE’s most destructive trios in question.
The bout, ordered by Director of Operations Kane shortly after Punk publicly criticized The Authority, allowed the three
Shield members to tag in and out. Meanwhile, The Voice of the Voiceless — suffering from bruised ribs, thanks to a recent
spear by Reigns — was left with an empty corner. He was not without support, however, as the Toyota Center broke into
chants of “CM Punk” seconds after the opening bell rang.
Ambrose and Rollins took turns pawing at Punk, with The Straight Edge Superstar getting the better of each Hound of
Justice. The momentum swayed with the entrance of Reigns, who muscled Punk into the corner and tossed him to the floor
like a ragdoll. Reigns attempted to spear Punk outside the ring, but the savvy Second City Strategist sidestepped him,
causing the black-clad warrior to barrel over the commentators’ desk.
Reigns narrowly beat the referee’s count and re-entered the ring, but was clearly worse for wear, favoring his left eye
which, replays revealed, had drilled a chair during the ill-fated spear attempt. Within seconds, the area around his eye
began to swell, and once Reigns tagged out, WWE medical staff rushed in to assess the injury.
Punk continued to valiantly fight off the attack of Rollins and Ambrose, at times using their own momentum against them,
but the numbers disadvantage proved truly debilitating. After a rapid series of offensive maneuvers, Punk began to lock
the Anaconda Vise on Rollins, yet interference from the volatile Ambrose prevented The Best in the World from gaining
a submission victory.
Nonetheless, The Straight Edge Superstar kept his wits about him, reversing a butterfly superplex attempt by Ambrose and
surveying the WWE Universe before launching into an elbow drop. Moments later, Punk dropped Rollins with the GTS.
With Rollins asleep, Ambrose then squirmed out of a second GTS attempt, only for Reigns—who had by then regained his
composure—to take aim at Punk with another spear. Yet, Punk again avoided the impact, and Reigns inadvertently drove
into Ambrose, leaving the United States Champion easy prey for a Punk pin … and underdogs around the world believing
in The Best.
Where the match result leaves The Shield, as a unit, remains far less clear.
AJ Lee def. Natalya-Divas Championship Match
HOUSTON – AJ Lee remains on top of the Divas division, retaining the butterfly-emblazoned prize at WWE TLC Sunday night.
Despite a noble, weeks-long effort by former champion Natalya, it was AJ who continued her dominant reign at the
pay-per-view, thanks to the help of Tamina Snuka looming at ringside.
In the weeks leading up to their WWE TLC match, Natalya seemed to have AJ’s number, as the Hart Dungeon-trained Diva
defeated the Divas Champion three times by pinfall or submission. AJ scoffed at that notion when approached by Renee Young
before the Divas Title Match, and stated that her only number was “one” – as in, the one Diva in WWE who matters and
always wins when it counts. AJ also took the opportunity to point out that she should have won Diva of the Year on Raw
last Monday, then called the Slammys, the Divas division and “Total Divas” a joke before assuring the WWE Universe she’d
have the last laugh at WWE TLC.
It was a promise she certainly kept, but it wasn’t easy. Natalya countered AJ’s first Black Widow attempt with one fierce
suplex after another, building momentum against the Divas Champion. She looked to put AJ away with the Sharpshooter,
but AJ fought her way out of the hold. After Tamina distracted Natalya by getting her attention at ringside, AJ locked
in the Black Widow again, but Natalya powered out with an unbelievable effort that shocked everyone watching, most notably
the champion. But AJ quickly rebounded, rolling up Natalya after her second Sharpshooter attempt after grabbing a handful
of the third-generation Diva’s pink and blonde hair. AJ figuratively skipped her way to another victory, leaving a
distraught and heartbroken Natalya teary-eyed in the ring at the Toyota Center.
Will AJ continue to control the Divas division with her fierce follower, Tamina, at her side? Or will Natalya – or another
“Total Divas” star – find a way to finally take down the cunning Divas Champion?
Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston def. Damien Sandow
HOUSTON – Alas, Damien Sandow remains uncrowned, as the self-styled scholar fell to the rolling Intercontinental Champion,
Big E Langston, in what was to be his grand bid for redemption following a failed Money in the Bank cash-in.
The esteemed Mr. Sandow certainly aimed high in attempting to rebound from the historic shortcoming of his cash-in,
targeting the most physically intimidating of WWE’s current champions as his would-be comeback opponent. The Enlightened
One’s gaudy bravado leading into the match, however, was quickly exposed as hollow hubris when Langston laid into his
feisty challenger with the force of a freight train.
A champion who speaks softly and carries a big stick, Big E let his storied strength do all the work of Sandow’s
interminable orations and then some, shutting down Sandow’s opening salvo by putting his entire 290-pound frame into a pair
of monstrous corner splashes. Sandow’s strategy gave him a brief leg up at the expense of Big E’s own when he rammed the
titleholder face-first into the turnbuckle outside the ring, and the challenger capitalized on Langston’s disorientation
by taking him out at the legs before pouncing with the Elbow of Disdain.
Sandow inched his way closer to victory by punishing Langston with a bare knee to the small of the champion’s back.
Big E kept himself in the game with several well-timed power maneuvers, including a plus-sized Electric Chair drop that
nearly put Sandow through the concrete. Ever the fan of the classics, Sandow came the closest to victory with that most
classic of maneuvers, the roll-up pin, during a frenzied trade of offense as the bout approached its breaking point.
Yet his underestimation of Langston’s resolve proved to be the self-styled intellectual savior’s undoing, as the big man
plowed Sandow into Tuesday (the 24th, not this Tuesday) with a running splash and wiped him out moments later with
the Big Ending.
While it’s unlikely the humiliation will deter Sandow for long, perhaps it’s poetic justice – the kind an enlightened soul
would truly appreciate – that the story of his sinister redemption now becomes another chapter in Langston’s unlikely,
unmissable rise through the ranks of WWE. If nothing else, Langston has silenced Sandow for the time being, something for
which the WWE Universe can give a hearty “thank you.”
WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust & Cody Rhodes def. Rey Mysterio & Big Show,The Real Americans and Ryback & Curtis Axel
(Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match)
HOUSTON — Despite the odds being against them in every conceivable fashion at WWE TLC, WWE Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes
& Goldust outlasted three other tandems to retain their titles in a grueling Fatal 4-Way Elimination Match.
The champions went into WWE TLC with all of their opponents feeling confident about a victory. Both The Real Americans and
Curtis Axel & Ryback captured victories over Rhodes & Goldust in recent weeks, while the combined strength and speed of
Rey Mysterio & Big Show made them a newfound wild card.
It was Ryback & Curtis Axel who dominated the opening minutes of the match. The monstrous Ryback exerted his power over
The Rhodes Brothers, until the veteran Goldust surprised his massive foe with a rollup that sent The Human Wrecking Ball
and Axel to the locker room for an early shower.
After the first elimination, The Real Americans entered the bout for the first time. The fresh tandem of Antonio Cesaro &
Jack Swagger pounced on offense, using their freakish strength to take control. Swagger clobbered Goldust on the outside
with a huge clothesline, and no matter how hard The Bizarre One tried to reach his brother, Rey Mysterio or Big Show,
The Real Americans expertly cut him off from completing a tag. Cesaro made things even more complicated for his foe after
dizzying him with an impressive Cesaro Swing.
Goldust was eventually able to rally to his feet and tag in The World’s Largest Athlete, who promptly steamrolled over
Cesaro. Despite their best efforts to fell the giant, Swagger and Cesaro both met the same fate at Big Show’s hand.
Two KO Punches ensured that Zeb Colter and his crew would not be leaving Houston with the WWE Tag Team Titles.
Though The Rhodes Brothers were able to slow down Big Show by combining to suplex the giant, it was a different story once
he tagged in Rey Mysterio. Despite being the speedier member of his team, Cody Rhodes was no match for The Master of
The 619; like a whirling dervish, Mysterio twisted and twirled through the air, staying one step ahead of Rhodes.
On several occasions, it looked like there would be new champions crowned.
However, in the end, Cody Rhodes finally caught up to the speedy Mysterio, reversing one of his dizzying attacks into
Cross Rhodes to retain their titles. Both teams embraced after the match in a show of sportsmanship, but it was The Rhodes
Brothers who would exit Houston with the WWE Tag Team Championships in tow – and further cement their status as the
division’s top tandem.
R-Truth def. Brodus Clay
HOUSTON — Bad news for the rump shakers on Planet Funk — it looks like the dance party may be over.
Displaying a demeanor that was more Michael Myers than Michael Jackson at WWE TLC, Brodus Clay fought so ugly against
R-Truth that Tensai, Naomi and Cameron abandoned their friend in disgust. Clay, distracted by his pals leaving his side,
was rolled up and pinned by Truth. With that, it became clear that the party people of Tons of Funk were no longer
moving in sync.
It was yet another setback for Clay, who pulled a major party foul when he gave Xavier Woods permission to use his spirited
entrance — Funkadactyls and all — and then humiliated the rookie in a match on Raw in a fit of jealous rage.
Unlike the young Woods, R-Truth would not be intimidated by the imposing big man. Using his speed and precision to keep
The Funkasaurus off balance, Truth illustrated the benefits of a veteran’s experience in the squared circle.
Brodus battled back, though, eventually crotching Truth on the top rope and then pounding the former United States Champion
into the mat with splashes, suplexes and even a heart punch. The grinning playfulness that normally defined Clay’s
performances was pushed aside as he clinically picked apart his opponent with maneuvers designed to cause injury.
The disrespect the big man displayed towards R-Truth didn’t only insult the Houston crowd — it offended his entire
entourage. When Clay prepared to send Truth into the steel ring steps, Sweet T stood in the way and demanded that his
friend fight fairly. The Funkasaurus continued to abuse Truth, leading Tensai to confront his partner on the ring apron.
When Clay exclaimed, “I’m a main event playa! I’m better than you,” Sweet T walked away and The Funkadactyls followed
close behind.
With the abandonment diverting his attention, Clay was rolled up by the cagey Truth and beaten. It was a bitter moment for
the boogie man, but an important one for the rapping Superstar. Tons of Funk’s soul train may have derailed, but R-Truth
and Xavier Woods are sure to keep the party going. Now that’s what’s up.
Kofi Kingston def. The Miz (No Disqualification Match)
HOUSTON — The Miz boldly proclaimed during the WWE TLC Kickoff that Kofi Kingston had no “killer instinct.” He quickly
found out how wrong he was during WWE TLC. In an action-packed No Disqualification Match, The Wildcat finally got to shut
The Awesome One up, defeating his mouthy foe.
Emotions have been running high between the two as of late, with The Miz picking up several victories over Kingston,
as well as slapping the high-flyer in the face. Things came to a boiling point during the Kickoff, where Miz continuously
made digs at Kingston while the Kickoff Panel analyzed the epic pay-per-view. Fed up with The Awesome One’s derision,
Kingston confronted The Miz, delivering a slap of his own his before Hall of Famers Mick Foley and Booker T separated them.
Kingston pounced into action at the opening bell, taking The Miz down and unleashing a flurry of blows. Kofi tried to take
flight, but The Awesome One quickly grounded him with a forearm to the jaw. The bout remained on the outside as Kingston
regained control, laying in boots to The Miz’s midsection, but when he tried to land Trouble in Paradise, he connected with
the steel ring post instead of his opponent’s head.
The recovering Miz focused his ruthless attack on the weakened leg of Kingston while assaulting Kofi around ringside.
Though he seemed to have Kingston on the ropes, The Awesome One wanted to punish his foe, removing the pad to expose the
cold steel turnbuckle.
That move became The Miz’s undoing. The Dreadlocked Dynamo mustered up the might to send Miz crashing head-first into the
exposed turnbuckle. The Awesome One stumbled backwards, turning around only to get caught with Trouble in Paradise,
giving Kingston the victory.
If anyone questioned Kofi Kingston’s intensity before WWE TLC, The Wildcat gave them – and especially The Miz – no reason
to continue doing so.
The Wyatt Family def. Daniel Bryan (3-on-1 Handicap Match)
HOUSTON – Nobody says “NO!” to Bray Wyatt. The buzzards feasted on goat meat in Houston after Daniel Bryan refused to join
Wyatt’s clan of followers and felt the wrath of the crazed cultists in the second 3-on-1 Handicap Match of the night.
With Bryan thrown into the wolves’ den by his former friend and now WWE Director of Operations Kane, who orchestrated the
match, Bray began the match in his customary rocking chair, content to observe his acolytes’ brutal handiwork as they went
to work in the opening moments. Erick Rowan and Luke Harper, Wyatt’s pair of personal Goliaths, manhandled their David
early on. Bryan – who Wyatt intended to out as a monster in sheep’s clothing – was forced to hack away at Harper’s legs
with shin kicks to claim his first lead of the night.
The submission master’s advantage didn’t last long, though, and Rowan soon tagged in to toss Bryan to and fro like a
bearded Brawlin’ Buddy. Once the masked monster had done his work, Wyatt rose from his perch and his minions understood
that the time had come for "The Eater of Worlds" to enter the fray. Wyatt not only went a long way towards fulfilling his
own prophecy of Bryan’s destruction but he celebrated it, stalking his opponent in a skin-raising crab walk and creepily
rolling on the ground in delight while Bryan teetered on the brink of destruction.
The wildness of The Wyatts’ own offense led to an unexpected display of solidarity; after his lieutenants administered
another round of punishment, Bray presented Bryan his hand in a final gesture of mercy, offering to “make it all go away.”
Bryan, to put it lightly, refused, kicking Wyatt’s hand away in a show of defiance before raining elbows into the face of
the self-styled monster. Wyatt’s response was one of unbridled rage, and the overwhelmed Bryan soon found himself at the
Family’s mercy once again.
Fed up with Bryan’s defiance, Bray instructed Harper to dispose of the “Yes!” man, but the big man’s titanic sit-out
powerbomb wasn’t enough to dispatch the upstart challenger. Bryan took advantage of Harper’s subsequent frustration to
find his second wind, reaching deep to take both Harper and Rowan out of the match, bringing it down, once again,
to Bryan and his would-be savior.
The former WWE Champion gave his all in the last-ditch effort to escape Wyatt’s hell, yet the “Man of 1,000 Truths” would
not be denied, muscling his way free of the “Yes!” Lock to rain a smothering series of blows on his prone opponent.
With the tenderness of a father raising his newborn son, Bray picked Bryan up off the mat … and transitioned seamlessly
into the punishment of a match-ending Sister Abigail.
With the bell tolling for Daniel Bryan, Bray fell to his knees and embraced his fallen foe in a gesture of … something.
Sportsmanship? Pity? Brotherhood? Perhaps what they’re fighting for isn’t as important as the conviction with which they
fought. Maybe he knew that, even though he couldn’t convert Bryan, he still exposed his animal nature in defeat. Maybe,
for Bray Wyatt, that was all that really mattered.
WWE Champion Randy Orton def. World Heavyweight Champion John Cena (Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match)
HOUSTON — In what was the most pivotal match in WWE’s 50-year history, WWE Champion Randy Orton defeated World Heavyweight
Champion John Cena in a harrowing Tables, Ladders & Chairs Match to unify sports-entertainment’s two most integral titles
and become the first-ever WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
It was the beginning of a brave new world for WWE and — as is often the case with change — it did not come without a price.
If the road map of cuts and bruises on the bodies of both Cena and Orton don’t tell the story, the image of the Cenation
leader lying unconscious against a table with one arm handcuffed to the ring rope and the other twisted underneath his
massive body surely will.
That was how this historic match ended, but it began just as ugly. Although the career rivals started the bout with an
exchange of straight holds, things quickly deteriorated as Orton introduced a ladder into the ring within minutes of the
opening bell. The first major offensive maneuver also belonged to The Viper, who buckled The Champ with a chair blast that
reverberated throughout the Toyota Center with a cringe-inducing bang.
If The Authority had questioned Orton’s passion in order to inspire him, it clearly worked. The Viper seemed to be The
Legend Killer of old, keeping Cena grounded with deliberate chair shots and picking at his bones with slow, methodical
stomps and kicks. Whenever The Champ managed to fight his way back into the contest, Orton would cut him off at the knees
— even stopping a Five Knuckle Shuffle attempt with a brilliantly placed kick to Cena’s head.
Of course, trying to keep John Cena down is like pushing a boulder uphill. Proving himself to be every bit as willing to
get his hands dirty as his opponent, the Cenation leader put The Viper on his back, scaled the ladder and dropped a fist
into his rival’s face instead of reaching for the titles. Using some sharp strategy, Cena didn’t chase the championships.
Instead, he bided his time until Orton got back on his feet, then drove a ladder into him, sending him off the apron and
through a table.
Fifteen feet above the ring, the WWE and World Heavyweight Titles hung from a golden apparatus, but they might as well have
been a mile away. As Cena began his ascent to immortality, The Viper impossibly made his way back into the ring,
knocked The Champ from his perch and connected with a picture-perfect RKO. The glorious carnage left both men
incapacitated in the center of the ring as an ecstatic Houston crowd rumbled around them.
When the Superstars staggered to their feet, the match truly began to resemble something closer to a bar fight as the
combatants exchanged headbutts and full fists. Cena finally dropped Orton by driving the steel ring steps into him,
but The Viper took command yet again by blasting the Cenation leader with a microphone, then stomping his head into the
steel ring steps.
Taking his time, Orton waited for Cena to begin to struggle to his feet before he attempted to punt The Champ. Somehow,
though, Cena avoided The Viper’s boot, spun him around and drove him through the Spanish announce table with a resounding
Attitude Adjustment.
Now moving in slow motion after the physical trauma he had been subjected to, the World Heavyweight Champion made his way
up the ladder. Yet, Orton — rising again like the monster in a horror movie — ripped the ladder out from under him.
The Cenation leader made the mistake of holding onto the hanging apparatus, which only allowed for The Viper to bash him
with a steel chair like he was teeing off on a pinata.
The most pivotal moment in this historic match came moments after Cena drove Orton though a table with a desperate tackle.
Clearly, the act took something out of both men — possibly more out of Cena — but it sent Orton to the outside, where he
retrieved a pair of handcuffs he had brilliantly hidden under a ringside mat.
Employing an enviable bit of strategy, The Viper shackled The Champ to the bottom rope before taunting his opponent with
the hubris of a James Bond villain. After tossing the keys into the audience, Orton slowly moved up the ladder,
but he failed to notice what Cena was doing down below.
Ingeniously unscrewing the bottom turnbuckle, The Champ was able to move about the ring — although he was still connected
to the rope — and knock Orton down. The Viper fought back, though, grabbing the rope that was still hooked to Cena’s arm
and yanking it with all his might. The Cenation leader struggled, but he was unable to overpower Orton with one arm.
Ultimately, Cena was yanked from the top and driven face first into the edge of a wooden table.
The ugly impact knocked the World Heavyweight Champion into next week. With his greatest opponent out cold underneath him,
Orton began his climb once again. When he reached the top, he savored the moment, taking what felt like minutes to unlatch
the two most important championships in sports-entertainment history.
Standing there for all the WWE Universe to see, The Viper became the first WWE World Heavyweight Champion in history and
the spiritual successor to Lou Thesz, Bruno Sammartino, Ric Flair, Harley Race and every other indispensable ring legend
who ever carried these vaunted titles.
Soon, The Authority joined Orton in the ring and congratulated their handpicked hero as the enormity of the situation
dawned on a recovering Cena. With that, an important chapter in WWE history had been written, and a new one had begun.
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